It is time to blast off into the outer, or shall I say inner, realms of the "hook up".
If you are currently in a relationship, but find yourself still evaluating the quality or longevity therein, this post is for you.
A colleague of mine has been dating a girl for about two years. They have been living together, are sexually active and he would like very much to be married someday in the near future...............but just not to her.
He envisions marrying a lady that is graceful, modest, respectful, and is willing to take care of the home, if she is not working outside the home. His current girlfriend is none of these things, in his opinion. But ironically, she seems to be "good enough" to keep his bed warm at night.
Now before you dis my buddy, I want you to know the young lady is a willing accomplice. He has already told the young lady everything that you have read, up to this point, in terms of how feels about her. He describes his dilemma as "trying to teach a 'fish how to fly'." In simpler terms, he feels that, due to her upbringing, she cannot be taught to be someone that she isn't.
What I love most about my colleague is that he is transparent. So I am not angry with him. He has shared his feelings with the woman; yet she has chosen to stay involved in this "thing" that they have. Hence, she must share in the responsibility. She is permitting herself to be treated in this manner.
I will now share with you, the counsel that I gave him.
1. When a relationship is based upon physical attraction, without consideration for character and dignity, the chances of a lasting relationship are, more often than not, slim to none. Sex feels good. However intercourse alone, does not, a marriage make.
2. Once you allow someone intimate access, without commitment, you have given them permission to eliminate long term relationship planning with you. What else do you have to give, besides part of your income and your credit score?
3. Without a deadline or an ultimatum, a person has no need to choose to commit, because the current "situation" is much too comfortable.
Ladies, I want to share this nugget with you, in closing:
Until the fear of losing you, outweighs the comfort of "having you around", a man has no need to take your union to the next level of commitment.
He wants a fish, while he's fishing.
When he's ready to fly, he will need a lovebird.
Holla back, God bless, and Merry Christmas party people!
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