Self examination is the balm that removes the crust of harsh judgment and hypocriticism from our inner eyes.
Attend any AA, NA or substance abuse related support group and you will here a common theme that is the first step on the road to recovery: One must first acknowledge that he/she has a problem, before any change can take root.
The same principle applies to us all. We all, at some point, must admit to our shortcomings. This could certainly be considered as step one.
However, prior to implementing any sustainable improvement, we must also embrace a second step that is never discussed. The oversight of this second step is, in my opinion, the most probable cause of relapse in recovery programs. Similarly, not applying this second step, can be detrimental to us, in our pursuit of self-improvement.
Step #2 - Forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is a learned thought process. Although I recommend it and attempt to practice it myself, I would like to give two disclaimers. These points will make the hard work of forgiving ourselves, much easier to do. More often than not, we are our own worst critic and enemy. For this reason, this pattern of self condemnation must be unlearned. In order to do so, let us keep in mind the following two points that will help us to navigate the unpredictable seas of self examination.
1. Resist the urge to compare. If you do, inevitably, you will fall prey to your self esteem's biggest combatant. How might this be, you ask? It is quite simple. When we compare, we attempt to stack the best of the other's person's qualities, against the worst of our own. It is a pointless battle.
2. We must always operate from a position of compassion, when dealing with the faults of others, so that when the tables are turned, we receive mercy from others when we fall short. Your test on this subject will begin in the final paragraph of this discussion, which is coming up next.
So as we grind our teeth, break the TV set, curse and yell at the top of our lungs about the Casey Anthony verdict, let us also bear in mind that without presentation of all the evidence or personally being at the murder scene, we are ill equipped to judge. If we were there, in Casey Anthony's shoes, I have a strange feeling we may want others to consider giving us a second chance.
Dr. Wick Daddy
Copyright 2011
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